Experiencing scarcity in the midst of the uncertainty that the pandemic presented has evoked emotions that we were not ready for. Emotions that we could never quite be prepared to handle. Emotions that we may not even be aware of or understand completely. Some of us are still trying to sort through the emotions that came through in dealing with unimaginable sickness and loss. Scarcity, and some of the emotions that may come in waves, may have been something we were most familiar with when a particular “Black Friday” deal was gone before we got it. But this was different. This was serious and long lasting and global in its reach. This was sudden and unexpected and it appears that it is not getting much better. In fact, 2 years into this pandemic and it still feels unreal.
For so many of us, the emotions tied to scarcity remains a foreign notion even 2 years later. The scarcity that led to the feeling of not having enough or not getting what we needed was far too complex for our minds to adapt to. So maybe we didn’t adapt; maybe we just pushed through. We ignored the emotions; we forced ourselves to think that this is just temporary. It’ll get back to normal soon. When did you first realize that feeling of fear of not getting your hands on a product that you needed? When did you first realize that feeling of emptiness of not getting your heart on a connection that you needed? I purposely use the word need rather than want – we have a different perception of needs vs. wants based on our upbringing and lifestyle and quite frankly, our current mood and circumstance makes this distinction a moving target, or at the very least blurs the line for us. I am talking about all of the scarcity and emotional turmoil it left in its wake – the goods, products, and services; the emotions, people, thoughts, and feelings. All in short supply and excess demand. The imbalance caused by supply chain issues and social distancing and mask mandates, lockdowns and political turmoil and devastating loss after devastating loss. In fact, when we needed to connect with people the most, we were not able to. That made the imbalance in favor of scarcity more real and had a greater impact on each and every one of us.
But the pandemic has forced us to realize what we have been missing most. We have, likely for the first time in most of our lives, experienced the uncertain feeling of not knowing if we might be able to get our hands (or hearts) on something that we so badly needed. It may have been hand sanitizer or masks so early on. Then, after the first 3 months of the 2 week shutdown, we realized it was the connections and emotions that were running scarce. When did you first feel the emptiness of not being able to gather as you normally would – was it a particular holiday or milestone? Was someone sick that you could not visit or were just too afraid to risk that visit? I am not sure that when I first experienced the lack of connection and the emotions that were missing that I appreciated how long we might experience “doing without”. Or “doing with less” or “doing with different”. I think we all felt that it would not last too long. I know that being a healthcare worker, the first few weeks of the pandemic brought about a frenetic pace that prevented some of us from thinking about what the next few months would bring, let alone what the second half of your shift might look like.
But we are humans and we are, for the most part, adaptable creatures. Aren’t we? We say it all the time. We likely told ourselves (even if subconsciously) that we’d be ok with the “new way” of doing things. Zoom family gatherings, working from home, schooling from home, zoom meetings at work, birthday parades…Remember the birthday parades?! Fully equipped with the glorious lawn signs and honking horns of jubilee that must have sounded like harps playing because we figured out a new way to celebrate each of our births… Wow!
But have we really adapted in a healthy way? Or were/are we just going through the motions, suppressing our emotions, with the hope that magically everything will just go back to how the world was in 2019? Our world has changed – we have changed; but I am not sure that we have accepted these two realities or that we even know, to what extent, how these changes would align into a new way of experiencing the world and responding emotionally to the new world we live in. For instance, if we are not used to the experience of scarcity, how could we possibly be able to know how we would normally respond emotionally to the experience? Sounds like a good time for some deep reflection and hence, paying closer attention to how we feel instead of running or suppressing or worse, convincing ourselves that we are fine.
I would like to reflect on one of the greatest scarcities that I felt from March of 2020 thru the very moment that I am writing this (January, 2022). The scarcity that hit me the hardest, as you can imagine, were not material items that were absent on the empty store shelves (although that absolutely changed who we are and how we behaved when it came to being consumers). The thing that I missed the most that we did not have enough of over the last 2 years was certainly something we may have taken for granted for most of our lives. We saw them every day and glossed over how they made us feel. We surely felt it, we just did not notice. We may not have noticed their impact until they were absent or far too scarce. Of course I am talking about our smiles. Such a powerful signal for both the sender and receiver of this simple gesture. Whether it came from an old friend or stranger in the store, the smiles were impactful. A smile says so much with so little effort. Just think of what the smile might communicate to you at any given moment in any given situation. In fact, if you just sit here and smile for about 15 seconds, it will make you feel better. I think that smiling or seeing a smile can change the trajectory of your day. Smiles are truly contagious and the feelings that they evoke often makes the situation easier to manage and quite possibly turns a stressful situation into a positive and more bearable one.
The scarcity of smiles came for various reasons during this pandemic. First, obviously, we have been behind a mask for the better part of the last 2 years, especially for the healthcare industry that worked in person with a mask mandate that began in March 2020; and second, maybe it was just too difficult to muster up the energy or find the right situation where a smile seemed appropriate…mask or no mask. So we missed the smiles that were there, hidden and difficult to read even through the most robust “smiling eyes” that we have seen. And we missed opportunities that we could have smiled a bit more naturally, a bit more powerfully, if we had the energy or the mindset to brave a smile. And missing out on the smiles really made me think about how to appreciate the little things more in the moments that we are experiencing them. How can we do this without having to wait until we go without for so long? This feeling forced me to think about what else is staring us in the face that we might be missing.
Missing out on experiences and products or services we have always taken for granted has certainly helped some of us to be more appreciative of the little things. So much of this is about paying attention to these little things – having a grateful attitude – and not taking them for granted. So, maybe the best way to avoid experiencing the emotions that go along with the scarcity is to have a daily practice of gratitude – simple, specific things that you notice and are grateful that you experienced. Falling leaves or the sound of the wind or a short walk in the brisk cold air. It may sound paradoxical that noticing and appreciating something more often would prevent one from feeling the void when it is missing. But this is not why we do this – we become more grateful for what we have, what we experience, in spite of its fragility. In spite of how quickly it can be taken from us.
Maybe its power comes from letting go of the control we think we have in having enough. Or having more than enough that makes us believe that having plenty will overcome losses yet to come. Leveling up on material items or even positive emotional experiences does not make us invincible or even less susceptible to suffering. It may even delude us more into thinking that we are in control and we do have enough. Being genuinely grateful should allow for us to realize the impermanence of all things – good and bad. “The impossibility of lasting satisfaction” as the Buddhist teachings portray. So when good things come or bad things come or nothing comes and there is something missing, let us be grateful for that moment, the blessing, the person, the achievement, the loss, the challenge, the smile…and that more of it all will come. Even if more means less of something…good or bad. And though we never seem to realize this profound truth when we are so deeply entrenched in the good or the bad, we know that this, too, shall pass.
Michael Scicchitano
LL2L
leading.life2live 